Sunday, February 14, 2010

Means, Motive, and Opportunity

Friendship, like crime is a simple matter of means, motive, and opportunity. You must have a certain amount of social technique. You must have the desire to be open to another. And you must be in a position to meet someone new.

The opportunity part is important and can be awkward and painful for some people - - especially engineers. Try this list of the top five conversation starters:
  1. Compliments. Everyone loves getting them. The key is to not be overly personal - - it is fine to admire an item that a person is carrying or wearing, but not to comment on someone's looks or personality.
  2. Opinion Soliciting. People enjoy their opinions. Current events provide many openings.
  3. Information Request. Who doesn't like to feel helpful?
  4. Conversation Joining. This works best at a social gathering. Pick up on something the person has been saying or doing.
  5. Provocation. This option requires a certain finesse to be amusing but not off-putting - - you want to incite conversation not annoyance!

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